1. When driving in France it’s important to know that the French frequently don’t use an upward-pointing arrow to mean straight on. Instead they use a right-pointing arrow on the left side of the road and a left-pointing arrow on the right side. This can be confusing. Even after 42 years of survival on French roads I can still be led astray.
2. If a French driver comes racing up behind you flashing his lights, this usually means he wants you to get out of his way – even if you’re driving at the limit. If the approach from behind is at a lower speed, however, it could be that he’s warning oncoming traffic there’s a police speed trap ahead. When oncoming drivers flash their lights it’s a sure sign les flics are lying in ambush somewhere ahead.
3. When they ask you why the British don’t drive on the right like everyone else you could try explaining that more than 70 other countries are on the British side, too.
4. Driving in France means that you can’t expect the same levels of courtesy as you get on British roads. Even though over the years I’ve noted tremendous progress in this respect, it can still be one more contradiction that a people who have strict codes of politeness in their direct contacts with others in the daily course of life can be extremely rude when they get behind the wheel. So don’t be offended if that French driver doesn’t acknowledge your courtesy with a friendly wave of the hand when you let him into your stream of traffic. He was probably too surprised.
5. French law obliges you to carry a high visibility fluorescent vest (one per passenger) and a warning triangle. They must be kept inside the car and not in the boot. If you don’t, the more zealous policeman could fine you 90 euros. The thinking behind this is that if you break down or have an accident in a dangerous spot (i.e. on a motorway) you can put your jacket on without having to get out of the car. Some government bright spark planned to make it compulsory for each car to carry a breathalyzer, too, but in face of public protest it was decided to let this one drop.
6. Even though you’re in a wine-drinker’s paradise wait until journey’s end before sampling the local tipple. Be aware that the drink/drive limit is lower than in the U.K. and a driver is considered to be under the influence if his blood/alcohol level is equal to or exceeds 0.5 grams per litre (g/l). Be prepared for police roadside controls where everybody is systematically breathalyzed.
7. A French policeman doesn’t need a reason to stop your car. Usually there are two or three of them waiting at the side of the road at a convenient lay-by. If they’ve got you in their sights one of them will stride out into the road, hold up one hand and beckon you to pull in with the other. When you do this don’t forget to activate your indicator. It just might give a favourable impression and get you off to a good start. You’ll be expected to produce all documents relating to the vehicle (driving licence, insurance certificate, car registration document). If you don’t you could be given a fine. But remember: it’s not because he’s wearing a blue uniform that he doesn’t have a heart. So be pleasant and co-operative. Otherwise it could be at your expense. I remember once being stopped, to my great annoyance, as I was in a hurry at the time. After greeting me with a salute and a polite ‘Bonjour, monsieur,’ the gendarme proceeded to ask me if this was my car. I couldn’t resist the temptation to reply ‘Bien sûr, je ne l’ai pas volée!’ (Of course, I didn’t steal it). He then took about 10 minutes slowly and deliberately examining all the car documents, tyre wear, etc. (he even asked me to get out and open the boot) before finally (and rather reluctantly) allowing me to proceed along my way.
8. If you break down on a motorway it could literally be more than your life’s worth to linger on the hard shoulder after getting out of your car. Average survival time here is not much more than it was for a Tommy climbing out of his trench on the Somme during World War 1. So don’t forget to don that fluorescent jacket before you get out and, once you have called it, wait for the breakdown truck on the other side of the metal railings.
9. Don’t be surprised if the police car you’re following does all the things you’d get a fine for doing (i.e. not bringing his vehicle to a complete stop at a halt sign, exceeding the speed limit or parking where he shouldn’t, etc.) In France there’s still a strong tendency to use a position of power or authority to grant yourself exception to the rule, and not to set an example. This tends to be especially true with French politicians, even ministers.
10.Driving in France also means learning to control yourself if you’re honked at for not moving off the very instant those traffic lights change to green. Though in the U.K. using your horn when your vehicle’s in a stationary configuration is perceived as a form of aggression, this is not necessarily the case in France. It could be just a reminder that you’re preventing him from improving his ‘moyenne’ – his average journey time.
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